Wednesday 18 March 2015

Norma - a new conspiracy theory

Update 20 March

Norma Woodwood or Woodward is down to take part in a hustings at Llandovery College this evening for what appears to be her first public outing. Meanwhile, the Ukip Wales website which contains information on all of the parliamentary candidates, is still insisting that the candidate for Carmarthen East and Dinefwr has yet to be selected.

One question for this evening will be which part of Ukip is Mrs Woodwood/ward actually representing.


As readers will know, this blog has become slightly obsessed with Norma Woodwood, or Woodward, who may or may not be Ukip's candidate for Carmarthen East and Dinefwr.

Both the BBC and the Carmarthen Journal carry reports that a party representative has said that the party's committee in Wales had "misunderstood its constitutional position" and that Norma was "still the candidate. Period".

Both the Beeb and the Journal use the spelling Woodward, but neither carries a picture of the woman who, as Daily Wales points out, is rather more elusive than the Loch Ness monster.

There are quite a few Norma Woodwards about, but none of them would appear to live anywhere near Carmarthenshire or even Wales., a listings website, has 28 Norma Woodwards, and they are scattered about all over England. For reasons which we can only speculate about, there is a whole brood of them in Bedfordshire.

Anyone using Google Images will fare no better. This throws up a bizarre assortment of images ranging from a pair of washing machines, a broken down bus and a picture of Edwina Hart to a couple with very large posteriors staring out to sea.

Strangely there is no sign of the strange image purporting to be Norma which briefly appeared on the Ukip Wales website. In that Norma looked rather like the sort of thing you might see on Dr Who - an alien's idea of what a real human looks like but which turns out to be latex casing containing some hideous extra-terrestrial threat.

One possible explanation is that these extra-terrestrials tried to create someone who would blend in and not attract suspicion. Woman. Age 58. Likes to shop at Marks. Wears sensible shoes. That sort of thing.

Cneifiwr does not go to Marks very often these days. Memory sometimes plays tricks, but I think the last time there was an incident involving a lot of men's underpants (used but washed), Peter Hughes Griffiths, a policeman and a very angry store security manager.

But that's another story.

Perhaps Google Images is onto something. Could Edwina Hart actually be an extra-terrestrial who has mutated into a Ukip parliamentary candidate?



Anonymous said...

If it is spelt Woodward, as the BBC suggests, perhaps Tom Jones could help?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps i'm missing something here, but don't all election candidates have to give their address details, age, employment etc when they decide to stand for election? If so, then presumably we can have a look at it.

Redhead said...

I think they don't have to register till early April and all they have to release is their agent's contact information for their imprint which must be on all election communications.

I assume that some paper candidates are standing for some parties simply because they will qualify for the post free leaflet to every voter not for any other reason and will do no canvassing whatsoever because they have neither enough funds nor supporters to deliver leaflets.

Anonymous said...

Apparently, Norma Woodward will be at the Carmarthen East & Dinefwr hustings at Llandovery College tomorrow. No word yet on whether the Loch Ness monster will be there.

Anonymous said...

Will you Cneifiwr have your team of press photographers to capture this momentous event or is a bit like the solar eclipse can only be seen thro pin hole cameras ?

Anonymous said...

Will there be balloons?

Bill Chapman said...

I gasther that Madame Norma will be at the husting at Llandovery College this evening!

Cneifiwr said...

I am unfortunately otherwise engaged, but Cneifiwr's spies are legion.

Anonymous said...

TWO UKIP parliamentary candidates suspended in the past 24 hours and a third stands down. How anyone can take this bunch of clowns seriously is beyond me! The Raving Loony party is more organised than this lot.