Sunday 19 October 2014

Dead Cat Bounce

A cabinet stuffed full of old Etonians and other public schoolboys, Ed Miliband, the Scottish referendum, the rise of Ukip - that Labour and the Tories have lost all connection with people outside the parish of Westminster is obvious, but there are times when you really do have to pinch yourself to make sure that this is not all just a dream.

Nepotism is alive and well in the Labour Party (e.g. Stephen Kinnock in Aberafon, and Mary Wimbury - married to Tal Michael - in Aberconwy), and the Tories select candidates for Welsh constituencies who could all have stepped straight out of the pages of a PG Wodehouse novel. Their candidate for Carmarthen East and Dinefwr is Matthew Paul, a huntin', shootin' and fishin' London barrister, while down in Llanelli they have picked Ms Selaine Saxby, a woman who runs a sports bra retail business called LessBounce and who is eerily reminiscent of Wodehouse's Sir Roderick Spode, the leader of the Black Shorts who made his fortune flogging ladies' lingerie.

Ms Saxby is joining the ranks of Tory hopefuls at a time when the party is seeing an exodus of women MPs elected back in 2010, many of whom are disillusioned with the party's treatment of women in politics.

It is not clear what Ms Saxby's connection is with Llanelli, or even Wales come to that, other than the fact that she lives in Codford St Mary (or Llanfair Rhydypenfras), Wiltshire, which is closer to Wales than, say, Sussex. Her website, which seems to be the main vehicle for promoting her political campaign, devotes rather more space and energy to promoting her business, although it does feature a snap of Selaine and hubby walking the labs through the leafy lanes of Wiltshire.

Her latest appearance in Llanelli was at a political debate organised by pupils of Ysgol Coedcae. Asked for her views on the Welsh language, Ms Saxby said that if the language was a business, it would not be value for money. Unlike her bras, presumably.

Ms Saxby's candidacy has received the enthusiastic backing of our Tory Police and Crime Commissioner, Christopher Salmon who was on hand to help launch her campaign at a drinks party back in September.

Happily Ms Saxby stands no chance whatsoever of becoming the next MP for Llanelli, but her selection for the constituency speaks volumes about how the Conservative Party regards Wales.

Older readers may recall a playground chant which deserves to be brought up to date:

You'll never get to Parliament in a Saxby bra, 'cos a Saxby bra won't stretch that far.


Welsh not British said...

Do the ground work in a constituency where you have absolutely no chance of winning and then when you've proved yourself we'll parachute you into somewhere where you have a chance.

Standard stuff from the BritNats.

Jac o' the North, said...

Conservative no-hoper candidates in Wales have always been good for a laugh, and obviously this woman is no exception. Though it may hint at a deeper problem for the party.

The Tories have always found it difficult to raise candidates from among the indigenous population and this problem is even greater today due to three factors. First, the party also has to find candidates for the Assembly. Second, the rise of Ukip. Third, the fact that so many people hold Westminster politics in contempt and want nothing to do with it.

It used to be said that the Church of England was the Conservative Party at prayer, and their fortunes in Wales were often linked. Nowadays Anglican churches are kept open - just - by the influx of elderly English, who of course are too old to be considered as candidates by the thrusting, dynamic modern Tory party. So the party has to import ludicrous candidates from England like Ms Tit.

Which is of course what the Anglican church has always done. And now the followers of Canterbury are looking even further afield, for our local vicar is a Dutchman! Nice bloke, don't get me wrong, learning Welsh, etc., etc. So might the Tories follow 'their' church's lead? Could we in the near future have (apologies here to PE and 'Dear Bill') a Jan van der Taffybasher standing in the Conservative interest?

Anonymous said...

Are we talking about Selaine Saxby the holder of a first class degree from Cambridge University who is now a successful entrepreneur employing 6 people.

It is clear that she will never get in in Llanelli but it seems to me that she would be an ideal role model for some of our aspiring wealth creators.

As regards her views on the Welsh language I think many people would rather agree with her.jh

Cneifiwr said...

Anon@12.46 Yes we are. Having a degree, first class or otherwise, does not guarantee that you won't spout rubbish, as Ms Saxby has shown.

And the local chippy employs six people.

Anonymous said...

Looks like Plaid all the way then.See who UKIP
nominate on 24th Nov.The rest are out of the
Question for me especially Labour after the performance
in the Kremlin in the last few years.
Truly independents maybe should try.

Anonymous said...

Your argument is very shallow.

Of course 6 people being employed in a local chippy is important but there is a difference as you well know.

A first class degree in maths is not to be sniffed at but I do agree that it doesn't stop people talking rubbish.

Do you have a degree by any chance ?

Anonymous said...

How long will Stephen Kinnock have to serve as a MP before he joins Lord and Lady Kinnock in the House of Lords? Good socialists one and all!

Redhead said...

Actually, I think someone who gives the impression that she is a highly successful businesswoman should be employing substantially more than six people. Small businesswoman yes, successful entrepreneur - well, not quite yet.

Though if she gets into Parliament one day no doubt the extra cash will come in useful for business expansion - probably into the property market though, rather than bigger bras.

Matthew Paul said...

Another entertaining if unreliable post. Peering through my lorgnette at your account of my candidacy for Carmarthen East & Dinefwr, I would point out that someone born in Pembrokeshire, whose father is from Bridgend, and now works in Cardiff, is not best described as a 'London' Barrister. Huntin' I certainly like, but I own neither rod nor firearm. I live near Llandovery and my daughter attends a Welsh-medium state primary.

Trying to shoehorn Selaine into your Wodehouse gag is a bit desperate. Her version of Eulalie has helped raise half a million quid for breast cancer research, and she is someone with a lot to offer Llanelli.

I am at least flattered that you recognise my run in Carmarthen East & Dinefwr is far from hopeless. Ceidwadwyr Ymlaen!

Pip Pip,

Matthew Paul

Cneifiwr said...

Thank you Matthew.

I hope you will join me in advising readers not to rush down to the bookmakers to put money on a Tory victory in Carmarthen East and Dinefwr.

Anonymous said...

Does Paul compare the Welsh language to a business like his Wiltshire 'comrade' or accept it as a culture?

Welsh not British said...

All Matthew has done is confirm that he has no connection to the area he is representing whatsoever.

Incidentally you can 33/1 on a blue Tory win at the GE for that seat. For those that do not understand betting, that means if you put £10 on, you'll lose £10.

Saxby is 100/1.

Jac o' the North, said...

Is Matthew Paul related to the great Roy Paul who played for the Swans and Man City? If so, I suggest he'll get more votes by playing on this connection than by telling people he's a Conservative.

WnB, I'm sure Cneifiwr's readers are indebted to you for that illuminating introduction to the world of wagering. I wonder if Matthew Paul will vote on himself?

Jac o' the North, said...

Obviously I meant to say 'bet on himself', we must assume Mr Paul will vote for himself.

Matthew Paul said...

Ah, that's right, Welsh not British. Being Welsh, living in Carmarthen East & Dinefwr for the best part of 6 years and bringing up a family there gives you 'no connection whatsoever' to the area. The authentic Croeso from the voice of blut-und-boden Welsh Nationalism.

Cneifiwr: I'm off to the bookies tomorrow to lay a substantial wager, if they're still offering 33s. Overturning a 4.5k majority over the Conservatives with Leanne still in charge of Plaid, hovering somewhere between the Greens and RCP(ML) politically; and Calum carrying albatrosses called Mark and Ed around his neck, it's got to be worth a flutter.


gaynor said...

GOd pathetci commments on here from everybody - i turn to blogs to get some facts and well thought arguments,None of you are doing youtselves any favours.

Anonymous said...

The attack on Salain by plaid is sad and show's how desperate they are with a useless candidate what else is left for them but to go on the attack plaid will never win Llanelli with a candidate that's out of tutch that's all he's good for is attacking people typical plaid

Anonymous said...

Deluded Tories til the bitter end. Sad in many ways but TOTALLY FUNNY!

Redhead said...

Does Mr Paul also have other places where he land/or his family lives?

Cneifiwr said...

Anon@11.12 - Selaine Saxby is standing for the Westminster seat. Plaid's candidate for that seat is also a woman - Helen Mary Jones.

So I don't know who this Plaid male is who is going around attacking people.

Think there may be a few wires crossed here.

Anonymous said...

Helen Mary jones a has been who the people off Llanelli threw out don't u have any young people in plaid that u have to use has been

Anonymous said...

Who did they vote in instead,a bloke who liked a good
party,but not a Political one.H M J used to ask some good
questiones eg about dodgy resignations,and a lot more,
Better leave it at that.