On special offer this week is the Shirgar Burger, washed down with a bladder-busting 10 litre bucket of Coke and a bin bag of diabolo diabetes-enducing popcorn. All for just £86.83.
Fozzy Bear has been given the lead in the latest production of the Muppet Show, and Miss Piggy is plotting her revenge. Little do they realise that Kermit is really running things......
Return of the Mummy
A fumbling tourist accidentally stumbles into an ancient tomb and the Curse of Cwmoffit is brought horrifically back to life. The Mummy takes dominion over the starving peasants and enslaves them in a massive state-of-the-art Pyramid Regeneration Programme.
The Queen Vic meets Y Deri. Kat, the buxom tattoed landlady has run off with bad-boy businessman Garry Monk, and all hell breaks loose. Pat (the one with the big earrings) rises from the grave and joins forces with Peggy Mitchell to move in on Cwmderi where, incredibly, Dai Sgaffalde has been running the pub and alienating the customers. Watch Peggy utter that immortal line, "Get aht of my pub".
Arsenic and Old Lace
A farcical black comedy in which a man has to deal with his mad, murderous family, which includes two spinster aunts who have taken to bumping people off with a glass of home-made elderberry wine laced with arsenic, strychnine and "just a pinch" of cyanide.
The Empire totters as the populace groans under the weight of taxation and the slaves are growing restless. Thanks to an unbelievable twist of fate, the hapless
Carry On Matron!
A junior doctor has enticed one of the nurses (Barbara Windsor) into his rooms, as Bernard Bresslaw finds himself running St Hopeless. Michael Howard plays the late Kenneth Williams as Sir Bernard Cutting, the Senior Registrar, and Matron and her battle-axe sidekick (played by Joan Sims) decide to take control of the situation.
Meuryn Newydd Talwrn y Beirdd
Y Prifardd Peter Hughes Griffiths yw Meuryn newydd Talwrn Y Beirdd.
This last feature has been cancelled by Order of the Chief Executive.