Election Tour. Are we nearly there yet? Yes!

Some interesting snippets have been coming in along the way. If you have any (non-libellous) news from the frontline, good or bad, please send them in as comments or e-mail to: trydar@hotmail.co.uk

Outside the fleshpots of Llanelli and Ammanford, life in some parts of Carmarthenshire seems to move at a different pace. What's the time in St Clears? About 1906 would seem to be the answer if Selwyn Runnett, Lib Dem candidate, is anything to go by. For those not old enough to remember (there are a few Independent councillors who might), 1906 was the year the Liberals swept to power with a landslide.

Selwyn even has his own website. For those of you who think that Peter Black is wonderful, Selwyn is your man.

Sorry, Selwyn!

Also standing are the current Independent councillor, Philip Hughes (a butcher and Freemason, according to his declaration of interests), and a second Independent called Edmund Davies. Edmund lives at Gothic Villa. Knock on that door, if you dare.

Back in St. Ishmael, Independent councillor Mair Stephens will have her work cut out fending off a challenge from Delme Bowen who is a professor of cell biology AND Lord Mayor of Cardiff. He is in the process of moving to Ferryside where his great-grandmother was a cockle woman.

Meanwhile, over in Swiss Valley, the youngest of the current batch of Independent councillors, Giles Morgan, is uniquely still some way off his 70th birthday. Giles runs a computer company, a concept many of his colleagues on the Independent benches may have trouble getting to grips with.

Also standing are Ifan Rhydwyn for Plaid and Bill Thomas for Labour.

Next stop Trelech. For anyone unfamiliar with the area, Trelech is a small village in the middle of a vast rural area criss-crossed by a labyrinthine network of mainly single-track roads. There are almost no signposts, and the few that there are have almost certainly been turn round by Young Farmers. Forget GPS; this is the Trelech Triangle. It is said that there are still English tourists  in Austin Cambridges and Morris Oxfords who have been trying to find their way out since the 1960s.

Trelech has been represented since anyone can remember by Dai Thomas who seems determined to be the first serving councillor to get a telegram from Buckingham Palace on his birthday. Hoping to knock him off his perch are Mrs Lindsay Runnett (see St. Clears) and Anthony Thomas for Plaid. Anthony is currently also president of Hoelion Wyth, which I once saw translated as "Big Knobs".

Moving swiftly on, we now approach Trimsaran, the abode of Queen Meryl herself. Before we enter the village, I'm afraid all riff-raff and rabble will have to get off the bus, and everyone else should wipe their feet. People First, Labour, the Tories and Plaid are all hoping to unseat her, and Plaid has been especially clever by selecting a candidate called Mark James. Labour's candidate, Ryan Thomas, is taking time off his GCSE revision to campaign.

All of this contesting of elections business is, of course, an utter disgrace and shows a distinct lack of gratitude to our distinguished leader.

Next up we have another confusing contest in Tycroes, where Calum Higgins (Labour) is standing against Rhian Higgins (Plaid). They are not married. Calum sometimes goes on lads nights out with his good mate Shahid Hussain (see Glanaman).

On now to Tyisha, a two member ward. Defending their seats are Roger Price for Plaid and Keri Thomas for Labour. Keri has been on long-term sickness absence since April 2011. Also standing are Jeff Owen for Plaid, David Griffiths for Labour and Anthony Aubrey for the Tories.

And finally! Our last stop is Whitland where a crowded field of runners is aiming to put an end to the reign of Queen Susan Allen (Independent). Here is our fourth LibDem, Huw Llywelyn Jones, while for Plaid we have Diane Evans. Labour's canary is Dr Steve Morris, about whom nothing is known.